Quantum Johnson Presents: The Quadruped (Official Infomercial)

Overview
Quantum Johnson Presents: The Quadruped (Official Infomercial) is the Fifth Episode of Cinematic Memes Multiverse Season 1 and fifteenth overall upload to Cinematic Memes Incorporated. It is exactly 6:00 in length and advertises an all-in-one device titled The Quadruped. It was invented by Quantum Johnson and sold at Johnson’s Quantum Emporium.

Plot
The commercial opens with the Quadruped being shown as the main focal point. Quantum Johnson then enters the scene introducing his store entitled, "Johnson's Quantum Emporium". He then introduced the Quadruped and lists its many uses. Jerry from Customer Service the walks into frame explaining how the device works and its 273.4 tasks. Meanwhile, Quantum Johnson can be seen crawling from the back wall holding what appears to be a vacuum flask. Jerry rambles on about a random statistic as QJ hits him in the leg, knocking him to the floor. Proceeding this, Quantum Johnson continues beating Jerry to the floor and questioning him who told him to leave his cubicle. Johnson shouts, “This is my commercial, MINE!” and punishes Jerry by cutting his daily rations from 500cal. To 100cal. For a week. The next scene takes place outside as Quantum Johnson demonstrates one of The Quadruped’s many uses; burning perfect holes in a piece of paper (from 4 feet away.) The quadruped then shakes and makes loud combustion noises but slowly begins to burn the hole in the paper.

The video cuts back to the main commercial as Quantum Johnson announces the price of the Quadruped to be $3,500 with a 2,000 year warranty, [A special TV offer of] a young Indentured Servant, and if resided in dimensions 12-42 in realms 6, 8 or 15, shipping is free. Quantum Johnson makes this stat ement very clear with repetitive statements of it being “ABSOLUTELY FREE!” He displays The Quadruped’s phone number to order today:

+1 (800) 800-1800. Quantum Johnson is cut off by random noises and clashing as Trash and Bush Jackson enter the scene. Quantum Johnson is disturbed by these two figures and the two introduce themselves. QT reacts by saying they are wanted criminals and that he’s calling the police. Bush and Trash ignore him, examining The Quadruped and looking over the commercial’s script. Bush mindlessly picks up the device and asks what he calls the ‘contraption’. Bush states the full name of the device as The Quantum, Universal-Application-Directed-Radiation-Unilateral-Precision-Energy-Dilator. Bush obviously doesn’t understand him so Quantum Johnson calls it The Quadruped. Trash walks beside Johnson and asks what the “Quadrilateral” does. Quantum Johnson is disappointed for a second by the foolish remark by Trash and explains how it has many functions. Trash picks up The Quadruped and asks what would happen if it was pointed at a person. Quantum Johnson sheepishly responds with, “No, don’t do that.” Bush insists that they “find out” on their own. QT comments by saying that they are both insane as trash shoots an innocent victim with The Quadruped, disintegrating him. Trash and Bush Jackson are stirred as of the outcome of this claimed safe device and asks Johnson if it states anywhere in the commercial about the dangerousness of this weapon. Quantum Johnson explains how the blast occurred. Trash insults Johnson by calling him condescending as well as other words. Bush makes the point of how many accidental homicides could occur and Quantum Johnson defends himself by stating how many good uses this could help for. Bush hypothesizes possible punishment for QT to make sure he doesn’t create anything as dangerous ever again. The two ideas were “cutting both his arms off” or “Leaving him to die on a deserted island.” Trash rethinks the first idea and goes through with it.

The commercial cut-scenes to Quantum Johnson with both of his arms off and Trash announcing the end of the commercial while holding duct tape in his hand.

Cast
Ashton as Quantum Johnson

Xander as Trash

Ashton as Bush Jackson

Xander as Jerry from Customer Service

Olivia as the Indentured Servant

Lucas as the Victim

Release
'Quantum Johnson Presents: The Quadruped' was uploaded to YouTube on September 13, 2017, and as of October 2017, it has reached over 67 views.